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Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D

By Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D.

Parenting is the most important and rewarding part of life.  We have the divine opportunity to teach love, confidence, compassion, discipline and responsibility to another person. We will know what kind of parent we are by how we see our children get along, succeed and interact in the world. When love is the foundation of parenting we raise goal-driven children, rather than entitled children. If we love our children we mentor and discipline them. 

6 Tips to Raising a Goal-Driven Child

1) Love Connection: Children who are parenting with a sense of love, security and well-being from the beginning of life will spend the rest of their lives striving to keep that feeling. Children who are valued emotionally, given security, touch, eye contact, time, attention and patience become motivated to repair their sense of well-being when they lose it because it has already been integrated into their sense of self.

2) Self-Worth: Children who feel significant and included in the lives of their parents and whose parents are committed, involved, and supportive in their lives and activities develop a sense of self-worth. They believe in their abilities to succeed, to fail and get back up, to look any man, woman or situation in the face and be proud of who they are.

3.) Use Your Child’s Name:  Using your child’s name makes them feel important. Use their name when you are giving compliments, so they take that compliment as being directly related to their value. It tells them they are real and special.  Using their name helps soften discipline because you are making them a person, rather than a faulty behavior.

4) Rewards Carry Over:  As your child gets older make sure to encourage and compliment their talents and interests. Celebrate them that they are able to do something well.  As they get this feeling of gratification it will carry over and help them to be more open to try and achieve new things. Rewards are the beginning of the development of internal motivation creating self-starters.

5) Set Your Children Up for Success: Children assess their value by how they are perceived by others. It will be important to not let your child quit what they start but also not to force them to do what they really don’t want to do. This balance helps your child to learn they must finish what they start but if they aren’t interested long-term is some endeavor, they may choose to stop. This is good for the exploration of their identity and also to learn the value of commitment and passion.

6) Give Your Children Responsibilities:  Children need jobs. One of the main ways children develop self-love, motivation, confidence and values is through helping maintain the family home. Giving children household duties helps them experience their worth and it provides them a sense of accomplishment and reward.

Little Life Message: Children need to know that hard work is their way to success.  They learn that to achieve their goals responsibilities come first and leisure comes second. 

Sherrie Campbell, PhD is a veteran, licensed Psychologist with two decades of clinical training and experience providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California.  In her private practice, she currently specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers, including marriage and family therapy, grief counselling, childhood trauma, sexual issues, personality disorders, illness and more. She has helped individuals manage their highest high and survive their lowest low—from winning the lottery to the death of a child.  Her interactive sessions are as unique and impactful as her new book, Loving Yourself : The Mastery of Being Your Own Person.

She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2003 and has regularly contributes to numerous publications, including Intent.com, Beliefnet.com, DrLaura.com and Hitched.com.  She is also an inspirational speaker, avid writer and proud mother.  She can be reached at Sherriecampbellphd.com.

Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person is available on Amazon.com and other fine booksellers. 

SACRAMENTO – Assemblymember Cheryl R. Brown Issues the following statement commenting on the President Obama’s Executive Order on immigration:

“Our nation’s immigration system has needed reform for years. I applaud the President for taking decisive action to ensure that millions of immigrant families will be able to stay together and become active members of their respective communities. These actions not only support immigrant families, but also assist our nation’s economy and national security. This is an important first step in reforming our immigration system, but Congress must work with the President to pass comprehensive immigration reform next year.”

While overeating and Thanksgiving are virtually synonymous, cooking accidents and Turkey Day, unfortunately, go hand in hand, too.

Because of the latter, Southern California Edison (SCE) urges its customers to add a healthy dose of safety to their preparations this Thanksgiving, since the National Fire Protection Association says cooking is the leading cause of home fires on a day that has three times more home fires than any other day of the year.

Unattended cooking is the culprit in most of those fires, said the U.S. Fire Administration.

“It’s easy to get distracted while cooking and entertaining family and friends on Thanksgiving Day,” said Don Neal, SCE director of Corporate Environmental, Health and Safety. “But you should never leave cooking equipment or appliances unattended for any reason. It is imperative that you turn them off or have someone else watch them if you leave the room. It only takes a few inattentive seconds to ruin your holiday.”

About 2,000 fires occur each year in the U.S. on Thanksgiving Day, causing on average five fatalities, 15 injuries and $21 million in property damage, according to the fire administration.

Additionally, customers should ensure that appliances bear the Underwriters Laboratories (UL) mark. UL is the leading independent product safety organization, and they do not currently certify the use of turkey fryers.

SCE recommends some other safety tips for Thanksgiving:

• Replace appliances with frayed cords. Contact with them can cause electric shock and serious injury.
• Plug countertop appliances into Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter (GFCI)-protected outlets.
• Locate all appliances away from the sink. Remember, water and electricity do not mix.
• Do not overload outlets with multiple adaptors or power strips.
• Do not use extension cords with major appliances.
• Never fight an electrical or grease fire with water. Keep a fire extinguisher, UL listed and rated for electrical and grease fires, nearby.
• Unplug appliances that aren’t in use, preventing them from being turned on accidentally.
• Keep appliance cords out of reach of children and keep the floor clear of other cords to prevent falls.

For more on electrical safety at home, visit on.sce.com/staysafe. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

About Southern California Edison

An Edison International (NYSE:EIX) company, Southern California Edison is one of the nation’s largest electric utilities, serving a population of nearly 14 million via 4.9 million customer accounts in a 50,000-square-mile service area within Central, Coastal and Southern California.

Ms. Dorene Dominguez with student tour guides from H. Frank Dominguez Elementary School

Dominguez & Vanir Leadership” – (left to right):
— Ms. Terri Anderson-Cardinal, Program Facilitator, H. Frank Dominguez Elementary School
— Mr. Alejandro Hernandez, Principal, H. Frank Dominguez Elementary School
— Ms. Dorene Dominguez, Chairman, Vanir Foundation
— Ms. Adrienne Cisneros-Selekman, President, Vanir Foundation

SAN BERNARDINO, CA-Dorene Dominguez, Chairman of The Vanir Foundation in Memory of H. Frank Dominguez, San Bernardino Unified School District Superintendent Dr. Dale Marsden and the Vanir Foundation Board of Directors celebrate the grand opening and partnership of the H. Frank Dominguez Elementary School. The festivities included a school adoption by Cross Walk Church, first grade singers, and a special presentation of the H. Frank Dominguez plaque by Dorene Dominguez. After the ceremony, a mariachi band led guests to a reception followed by school tours by Dominguez Elementary school students.

The Vanir Foundation is pleased to announce their new partnership with H. Frank Dominguez Elementary School. As stated by Ms. Dominguez, “Since its inception in 2004, the Vanir Foundation has helped thousands of students by brining academic enrichment programs to our partner schools.” The Vanir Foundation has provided funding for:

• Apple iPad Airs for use of technology in the classroom;
• Science & College focused field trips to enhance learning outside the classroom;
• Honor Roll incentives to encourage student achievement;
• School Uniforms;
• and the highly successful “Engineering is Elementary” Program which exposes students to engineering concepts through a hands-on workshop approach.

This partnership will engage students in learning activities that stress critical thinking, problem-solving and analytical skills that are required for success in high school graduation, college, career, and life. Principal Alejandro Hernandez said, “We’re a 21st century skills school, planting the seeds of Hope, Inspiration, Knowledge, and Relationships.”

The Vanir Foundation, a non-profit 501(c)(3), is dedicated to partnering with schools in underserved communities by promoting achievement in math, science, language arts and engaging students in the field of engineering.

For more information and to donate to the Vanir Foundation, please visit www.VanirFoundation.org.

Lou Coleman

By Lou Coleman

The Word coming from most pulpits today is weakening, rather than empowering God’s people. Careful!  The apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé, Timothy, warning him to do the things that will avoid the trend we are now seeing in the church. “I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom: Preach the Word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry” {2Tim. 4:1-5}. I tell you, as shepherds of God’s flock, preachers should have no scruples to preach the Truth as it is found in God’s Word. Let the Truth cut. So what! The Truth always cut one way or the other. I have been shown that why ministers have not more success is they are afraid of hurting feelings, fearful of not being courteous, and they lower the standard of Truth. But I come to tell you that the Truth must be made pointed, and the necessity of a decision urged. As servants of God we must cry aloud, and spare not, and leave the result with God.  STOP SUGARCOATING the Word of God and Preach the Word of God, AS IS!

Yes I often speak candidly. That is because I have been given a mandate by God to Sound the Alarm! And I only speak the way God instructs me.  If you didn’t know God has called some to bring positive words of encouragement and comfort and hope. Some He’s called to be those who exhort and rebuke and correct. I just happen to be the latter. But in the midst of all the “uprooting and tearing down and destroying and overthrowing,” hope is offered beyond judgment.  You know, like Jeremiah {Titus 2:`15} God said to me, “You are not going to have a delightful, prosperous ministry, because when they hear what you have to tell them, they’re going to reject it and they’re going to reject you, despising you and your words the whole way through, but I’ll be with you.  God knew Jeremiah, chose Jeremiah, and appointed Jeremiah. He was known by name, hand-picked by God, and commissioned to serve. And the Lord did not give Jeremiah a joyful message of deliverance to announce, but a tragic message of judgment. Consequently, Jeremiah was misunderstood, persecuted, arrested, and imprisoned. More than once his life was threatened because the people did not want to hear the Truth. But Jeremiah told them plainly they were defying the Lord, disobeying the law, and destined for judgment, and He has called me to do the same. You are “Threading on Dangerous Grounds – Careful!”

Listen, God expects obedience, immediately. If we don’t we are in danger of God’s wrath.  Immediate obedience is the only appropriate response when God calls.  Has God called you? Then He will fulfill His purpose in you, He will equip you, He will enable you, He will protect you, He will accompany you.  He will accomplish his purpose no matter how the people respond. Woe to you if you do not preach the gospel and even greater woe if you preach it in error. Remember you will give an account for what you have said. So Preach the Word, not just part of the Word. Preach the Word completely, totally, comprehensively. Paul said he did not hesitate to proclaim the whole will of God {Acts 20:27}.  Do not dilute the Word. Do not distort the Word. Do not delete the Word.  Do not substitute the Word. Preach the Word always, and don’t let your life contradict the message you Preach and do not allow the fear of men to silence your Preaching.

According to Peter, writing in Chapter 3 of his letter, we should, first keep our minds on the will of God. Besides, who is there to harm us if we should prove zealous for what is good? And even if we should suffer for the sake of righteousness, we are blessed. So do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence, and keep a good conscious so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better, if God would will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.

Don’t you know that Jesus was never motivated by how His message would be received? In fact, He reduced His congregation to just a faithful few after preaching on sacrifice. They walked away. He didn’t chase after them. He didn’t change His message to cheer them up. When they sought sweet words, He gave them Truth. It is essential that we teach the whole counsel of God. I tell you, you are “Threading on Dangerous Grounds – Careful!”

Listen; do not be afraid of men. We have the promise of God’s prevailing, “Today, I am the One who has made you a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priest, and the population. They will fight against you but never prevail over you, since I am with you to rescue you” (Jer. 1:18-19) Notice the architectural terms: a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls. They are solid and unshakeable like the God who conceived us and the prophet whom they would come to characterize. God reassured Jeremiah. Attack you they will… overcome you they can’t. Let me say that again. Attack you they will… overcome you they can’t. So the person who stands with God will prevail.   So No Corners-cut, No Pacifying, No Round-about Way! Don’t trim your message to fit the masses. Preach the Word continually, exclusively, completely and courageously. If you don’t you are, “Threading on Dangerous Grounds – Careful!”

Dr. JoAnne Barge

By Dr. JoAnne Barge

With the Thanksgiving holiday right around the corner, we start the slow methodical progression toward what is, for many, the most stressful time of the year: The Holidays.

Families will be together, in the pressure-cooker of close quarters, and while the proximity has the intended goal of a renewed sense of connection, it unfortunately often ends up with the question of why we put ourselves through the ringer year after year.

Dr. Joanne Barge, a licensed Psychologist based in Los Angeles CA has some tips on how families can better cope with arguments over everything from who the better cook is to which football game to watch; arguments which really are more about underlying tension than the topic at hand.

“Much of the reason we have difficulty with family members stems from a deep-seeded desire to be seen & understood for who we are. When we want to be heard and this doesn’t happen, we feel hurt, rejected and anxious which can easily turn into anger,” explains Dr. Barge.

One of the ways this can manifest is in an argument about who is right. Nothing can be more sabotaging than the need to be right! It is a good idea to ask yourself rather you would prefer to be happy or right? If you want to be happy & enjoy your holiday, forget right, perceptions usually differ & right has nothing to do with anything except ego.

Dr. Barge says, “The key is to let go, find ways to validate yourself beforehand & expect to deal with differing points of view.”

• Set realistic expectations: The dynamic in any family system has a long history and likely will not change on this one day. Don’t expect it to. And don’t expect the aunt who always says something nasty to be nice this year.
• Set boundaries: If Uncle Sal usually gets to his third gin and tonic by 2 p.m. and by 3 p.m. the train is coming off the rails, plan to leave at the first sign things are getting out of control.
• Practice a ‘change of perspective’, try to detach with love i.e., Care about your loved ones but detach yourself from the things that bother you so much!
• Do not attempt to ‘control’ the interaction: Dysfunctional family members view this as a rationale to act even more abusive because you’ve just signaled that you are in the ring and ready to rumble!
• Practice staying in touch with your own inner source of ‘power’: Sometimes all it takes is a trip to the bathroom to take a deep breathe and remind yourself of a few select quotes that calm you down. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, but avoid reacting. Don’t jump into the ring (if there is one) but instead decide to look for the best in others.
• Practice active listening: Focus on what the other person has to say, don’t interrupt, show interest and don’t give advice unless you are asked for it. If all else fails and someone is telling you you’re the worst Yahtzee player that ever lived, a simple response of “you may be right” will diffuse the situation and then you can exit the activity without having to dump the iced tea pitcher on their head!
• Finally, try to bring the attitude & spirit with you that you would like to see in others & just maybe it will catch fire.

Dr. JoAnne Barge obtained her PhD in Psychology from the University of California Los Angeles and is licensed as both a Psychologist and as a Marriage and Family Therapist. She specializes in the treatment of addictions and in the family members of addicts and alcoholics. Dr. Barge also provides specialized treatment for depression, anxiety, panic disorders, marital or relationship problems, family of origin conflicts and attachment and loss. Her private practice is located in Brentwood, Los Angeles.

Ezekiel Azonwu is a spoken word artist that performs all across the globe. He is most commonly seen at P4CM events and during P4CM’s annual Rhetoric event.

SAN BERNARDINO, CA- Calling all of the creative minds and those who support the creative arts. On Saturday, November 22 at California State University San Bernardino, Momentum will be held. The night will be filled a grand creative arts festival featuring a live band and dancers and spoken word from Ezekiel Azonwu and several others.

The doors open at 7 p.m. and the show will start promptly at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $5 for students with I.D. and $10 for pre-sale tickets. Tickets are $15 at the door. To purchase pre-sale tickets please visit Jointhemomentum.eventbrite.com. Cal State San Bernardino is located at 5500 University Parkway in San Bernardino.

DJ Quik

LOS ANGELES, CA- Enjoy a night of old school hip-hop, rap, and R&B. On Saturday, November 29, the Eventporium will be presenting the classic Soul2Soul concert series starring Club Nouveau, Christopher Williams, Loose Ends (featuring Jane Eugene), Whodini, and DJ Quik at the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center located at 1935 Manhattan Beach Blvd. in Redondo Beach (90278). Each of these artists dominated the music scene in the late 1980s and early 1990s and are considered pioneers of the R&B and Hip-Hop genre.

Whodini gained national praise after signing with Jive Records in 1982, by releasing chart topping albums Escape, Back in Black, and Open Sesame, garnering 2 Platinum and 1 Gold certifications respectively.

Club Nouveau

British R&B trio Loose Ends rose to stardom in 1985 with the release of their single “Hangin’ on a String” that ranked #1 on the Billboard Charts in the U.S., making them the first British Group to do so.

Releasing their debut album in 1986 entitled Life, Love & Pain, R&B group Club Nouveau went platinum with four hits making it into the top 10 spots on the Billboard Charts consecutively. Their 1987 rendition of “Lean on Me” by Bill Wither’s earned the group a Grammy.

Christopher Williams

Christopher Williams’ single, “I’m Dreamin,” featured on the New Jack City Soundtrack (in which he also acted in) immediately hit #1 on the U.S. Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Charts.

With over 22 years, 80+ single production credits and 2 platinum/gold certifications, DJ Quik created his stage name on his speedy record production.

Doors will open at 7 p.m., and the show will starts promptly at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $35 and can be purchased on Eventporium.com, Goldstar.com, or Inglewoodtickets.com. Tickets may also be purchased by phone by calling (818) 272 – 8878.

A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Youth Edutainment League (Y.E.L. Program), which intends to decrease at-risk behavior. As a result, youth between the ages of 12 and 18 are offered hands-on programs that will teach them the inner-workings of the entertainment community.

Loose Ends

Whodini

What up beautiful people! Well the only thing it do with LUE at the moment is feeding the homeless here in my home town of San Bernardino. Help us fight the war on hunger all year long but especially during these holiday months. LUE Productions along with several community members and entertainment entities will be in full force this coming Tuesday located at 114 S. Arrowhead Avenue in San Bernardino. We are still in need of volunteers. Come on down and join us! Remember it’s about giving not receiving. Until next week!

Vice President Joe Biden (Photo Credit Angela Coggs)

By Angela M. Coggs

How often can someone say they attended an event in their own backyard where the current sitting Vice President of the United States was a speaker? Most people can go their entire life without having such an opportunity. But two students from the San Bernardino County Unified School District had the chance to do just that. On Saturday, November 1^st at a “Get out the Vote” Rally at Colton High School, Yonathan Habtemariam (8^th grader- Richardson Prep Middle School) and Jonathan Rodgers (9^th grader- Cajon High School) were two students in a sea of several hundred adults in the Colton High School gymnasium. Both young men attended the event with their respective mothers, both whom are officers of the SBCUSD District African American Advisory Council (DAAAC), whom were also elated to see history up close and personal.

Vice President Biden was on the campaign trail for then candidate Pete Aguilar. Aguilar, the former Mayor of Redlands, went on to win his election bid for the 31^st Congressional District seat held by the retiring Rep. Gary Miller, R-Rancho Cucamonga.  The 31^st district stretches through San Bernardino County from Rancho Cucamonga to Redlands.

Joe Biden arriving to event. (Photo taken by Izaiah Frazier)

During the rally, Biden referred to Aguilar’s childhood and being raised in a working-class family in San Bernardino. He also mentioned how Aguilar paid his way through college with two jobs and federal grants and loans. Biden urged the attendees in the Colton High School gymnasium to “pick a son of America who understands what it’s like to work hard, who understands what it’s like to put a family together, who understands what it means to struggle and get through school, who understands that every single solitary child out there deserves the same chance he had.”

“I never thought I would have an opportunity to see the Vice President in person. I didn’t believe it was really happening until he walked on stage. We were so close,” said Yonathan Habtemariam, who was taking pictures on his phone for proof. “Nobody will believe I was actually here. I can’t believe that I’m in the same breathing space as the Vice President”.  When asked what he remembered most about Biden’s speech he stated, “It was sad to hear how he had to move in with his grandfather and his father had to leave the family for a year just to find work. He also could not get a loan to send him (Biden) to college. Even though he was really good in baseball and football, it wasn’t enough to pay for school. That’s why he (Biden) is in favor of Pell grants. Having a Pell grant helped him get through college and he said everyone deserves an equal chance.” Hearing the speakers talk about the future in regards to making college an equal opportunity reality really resonated with Habtemariam who will be a high school freshman next year. “Anyone who wants to go to college should have the opportunity. I look forward to going to college, like my sister, in a few years.”

Yonathan Habtemariam, Angela Coggs, Jonathan Rodgers, and Gwen Rodgers

For the self-declared future civil rights attorney Jonathan Rodgers, having an opportunity to see Vice President Biden at this time in his life made him think about what more lies ahead. Rodgers was equally impressed with and motivated by what was said during the rally.  He had the chance to hear firsthand what the Aguilar political platform was and how Aguilar plans on achieving it.  “It was a once in a lifetime experience. Knowing that I’m 15 years old, and I got to be in the same room as the Vice President. I think waiting in the rain was worth it for the reward.” Rodgers is planning ahead because he knows that college is in his future. “I’m grateful to have that moment at such a young age.”

Another student on the scene was 10 year old Izaiah Frazier. He was given a “special assignment” from his grandmother, Cynthia Frazier, to figure out where to position himself to get pictures of Biden’s motorcade. After strategically studying his environment, he decided to stand on the corner of Valley Blvd and Rancho Avenue across from the 10 freeway exit ramp. Although he did not know what direction the Vice President was travelling to the event, he believed that the corner he stood on would allow him an opportunity to get a good picture. Frazier was baffled and bewildered that local residents had no idea that the Vice President of the United States was due to arrive in their neighborhood. “It was awesome to see the Vice President and his motorcade. It is something that I will remember when I grow up,” Frazier said. Frazier was correct about is location. Minutes later after an initial police escort, the official motorcade exited the freeway and Frazier was able to take a few good pictures as he waved at the limo in hopes that Biden would see him. Even at such a young age, he knows the importance of voting and that he had a rare opportunity to see a Vice President in his community.

A valuable lesson these three young boys learned is the importance of getting involved in community events no matter what one’s age is. Another lesson they learned is that it is important to allow one’s voice to be heard at the ballot box.  Although the opportunity to attend the rally was not available to many young students, the message conveyed clearly resonated with these three.